Most Hated Cliches

[Zylaa]

There's so many of them, it's hard to pick just one... but personally, I get tired of the young farmboy hero. Especially when the author makes a point of, several times, telling the reader how backwards and boring the town is. I mean, come on, after the first "OMG nothing happens here" angst sentance, the reader just knows the town is gonna get torched by hordes of evil minions.

[Zav]

I am guessing you are suggesting Eragon among others in that? xD I never finished that book...

I hate long travels... travels are good, but if they make up 2 1/2 thirds of a book, it gets tiring...

[Zylaa]

Of course not. Why would I be implicating Eragon? *coughhack I hate that book cough*

Oh yeah, travelling gets boring. It's all part of the conspiracy to make books drag on forever. The Wheel of Time and The Sword of Truth series, for example.

[katanal]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


*does a football touchdown dance and fails poorly, is glad no one here can actually see to make fun of*


i. despiiiise. eragon.
let's sum up the important things in 3 points

1. i'm not a hard core feminist, but is it really necessary to make the only female lead so..... lame? temptress/spunky spit-fire/damsel
aside from the abovesaid LAMENESS, paolini has some weird ideas about women and some twii-ii-iiisted fantasies. no wonder he doesn't have a girlfriend

2. Dear Christopher Paolini,
You are not Tolkien.
Please don't rip off Tolkien.
His ghost will haunt you.

3. The ending of that book....
it's silly.



Okay. Now that.
I've stated.
in broken phrases.
how much I hate.
That book.
I shant speak of it
again.

[Xicrog]

ODEARGOD. How did I miss this thread? Curse my nonattentiveness. Um, where do I start?
1. Kind-of-feminist-but-not really-at-all female characters.
Stop giving my political movement a bad name, you nerve-grating twits! This is at its worst when they go back on their "I don't need a MAAAAAN"-ness by falling into the arms of the nearest farmboy hero.
2. LOL GO ECOANARCHY!!!111!!
Yes! That's right kids, civilization is bad and nature is good and pure and uncorruptable! Only EVUL PPL use technology! We should all go back into the wildernesses and get maimed by the wonderful predators that live within!
3. Save us, eco-anarchist hippie farmboy, you're our only hope!
And by virtue of number two, nature gods and godesses are always good, yet occasionally misunderstood! They also frequently send random people out on quests to save the world from evil technology using dark lords.
Whee. That was more incomprehensible than I thought it would be. Er...maybe I'll write this in a more elaborate form later?

[katanal]

lol DUH
classic nature vs mechanistic world

just because we might be fuggin up the world in some aspects doesn't condone a complete reversal. i mean. the only reasons people like that whole "nature" theme are:
1. unacknowledged guilt over the "state of the world today"
2. acknowledged guilt over the state of the world today and a feeling of self righteousness that...somehow...if they read this book...they are are exempt from the consequences....
3. no guilt or belief in the world being a little messed up, but a fascination with
omgzorz
MAGYCKKEE(+indefinite e,z,k,y in random combinations)
somehow...MAYGAEKEEYEE can't take place in cities....why?
well...everyone's too busy dancing with the naked elves in the forests to do a valid scientific experiment to see if it can.
4. gawdam hippies
5. fat girls who wish they were elves who skipped naked in the woods and stumbled upon farmboys to save/get saved by
6. pervy nerdy boys who wish they lived in the woods to save/get saved by naked elves.
(happily imagines pervnerdboy in woods, sees skipping figure...hopeful....oh dear gods its a naked elf! a MALE naked elf!
glomping ensues.
hahaha.....ah i laugh at his pain)

[Zylaa]

*does the usual burying-head-in-hands move at katanal's happy mental image*

As you mentioned on the hair thread, don't forget the dark and mysterious past. Can't a character grow up with a normal happy childhood, for pete's sake?

[katanal]

no heavens no. can't have any normal people as heros
it's the suffering that makes them a HERO!!!
woooOOO

[Zylaa]

Yes. Even though they're all poor peasant farmboys, they are somehow mysterious and unique.
"woooOOO" should be the universal word for mystery/heroness.

[aidan]

Don't forget the 'all elves are beautiful, mystical lithe little things that barely come up to your shoulder and fight with delicate weapons and are extremely agile and quick and can kick your oversized human/orc/dwarf/gnome/kender/halfling/goblin/dragon/drake/draken/halfie behind in a fight' cliche.

This one time I got so fed up with that I created this one guy with a buncha scars on his face, had a giant chop off his arm when he was a kid, and gave him a war axe that weighed more than he did. Which made him build so much muscle on his remaining arm he could probably bench press one of the pretty elves' precious trees.

He likes to wave his stump at the pretty elves >:3

[Zylaa]

Oh yes, the perfect races of elves that can of course pwn everyone. Get over yourselves, arrogant little pricks!

[Xicrog]

...I just realized that one of the races in a story I'm writing are a lot like elves. Technically, they're bird-people, but they're mostly human looking, have pointy ears, are attractive by human standards, and are tall with a slight build. Except the only main character from that race is a Greykin (Nounnan mafia, basically) whose most notable ability is to lift about three times his weight.

He uses this to carry around a small armory of firearms, ammunition, and throwing knives.

There are space elves in a video game I'm playing right now. Rouge Galaxy, if you're familiar with RPGs.

Seriously, SPACE ELVES. At least the two I've met so far are a brooding military man who fights with pistols and a bar owner, but still...

[Zylaa]

... Space elves?

*imagines Elrond in space*
XD

[Elycien]

admin said:

... Space elves?

*imagines Elrond in space*
XD

Elrond... in... SPAAAACE! XD

I guess my Styrri are a little bit like space elves, but eh.