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Post by Zylaa on Jul 12, 2009 10:15:52 GMT -5
www.bulwer-lytton.com/2009.htmThe best contest in the world, with a very simple premise: submit the worst possible opening line for an imaginary novel. These are this year's winners, from all genres. Do not read this list in any location where laughing hysterically would be frowned upon. ^^
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Celesauron
Young Farmboy/girl
I have forged the One Ring to- huh? "Epic Equipment, please do not use"?
Posts: 129
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Post by Celesauron on Jul 12, 2009 14:49:06 GMT -5
<333 Those rock! I love the first opening on the page, simply for the mental image of big grizzled pirates screaming like little girls. Certainly deserved to win. The Fantasy section was pure gold, with a winner that kind of reminded me of Eye of Argon and a runner up...which reminded me of the Order of the Stick lawyers.
If it comes around next year, we'll all have to enter.
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Post by Zylaa on Jul 14, 2009 14:16:10 GMT -5
I know, the winner is so totally deserved. <3 I laughed hysterically. Fantasy was of course much fun-- I hadn't even remembered the OotS lawyers, though. And the Detective section was brilliant too:
"She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't. "
YES we totally should!
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