"Writers' Cafe" thread

[Zylaa]

I don't know if anyone else has run into this, but:
Back in the olden days of yore when I actually went on the Neoboards, one type of thread I saw a lot was the "Writers' Cafe" thread.

I have wondered: What exactly do people do in these threads? Do they go in, pretend to order a coffee, then pretend to sit down and write in a corner with nobody talking to them? Do they pretend to come in with a group of writer friends and then pretend to buy a bagel?

Therefore: This thread shall be for our own Writers' Cafe, which shall be, like all other wonderful things, a parody.

Also: If anyone has ever actually been on one of the actual Cafe threads, please enlighten me as to what actually goes on.

Also: Do you think I've used enough colons?

*becomes the underpaid cashier*

*opens up shop* *puts out a cutesy welcome sign*

[Xicrog]

Zylaa: You did not use any semicolons. You used many-a colon though.

*becomes the person who sits around and does not order anything but instead talks to people, thus irritating the underpaid cashiers. Or the person who pretends to sit around and pretends to order nothing and...oh, nevermind*

But I'm a forum noob, I don't know what happens! Er, I guess I don't qualify for noob status after six months on two different forums but still...

Have I used too many ellipsis(es?)...

[Zylaa]

>_> You saw nothing!

Neither do I. We're both in this together. ^_^

*puts up a sign saying "Today's Special: Chicken noodle soup in a bread bowl: $5.50, or, in other terms, one hour's pay."*
*glares at Xicrog for talking to people and not ordering anything*

I'm a bitter employee, aren't I?

[Xicrog]

Yes, you are. *hides wallet*

*hides debit card*

*hides bank balance*

*hides spare change*

*hides mountain of graphic novels and video games.*

[Zylaa]

*gasps* *thinks to self* Hm, a person attempting to hide a mountain of graphic novels and video games. Why are they hiding this? Clearly because they are a thief who has stolen all of this merchandise!

*calls police*

[Xicrog]

You sell graphic novels and video games at this establishment?

BEST CAFE EVER.

I can totally be a theif if I get to be a sexy one. Or rather Asexy! HA~

*brick'd by police*

[Zylaa]

That would indeed be an awesome cafe.

*watches the police throw bricks at the customer*

Isn't police brutality great? It's like something out of a dystopia book.

[Xicrog]

Dystopias are only fun if it's my stories or Tales of the Abyss. Otherwise, they're like a car wreck in slow motion: horrifying, bloody, and you just know somebody's going to die, yet you can't look away.