Post by Zylaa on Nov 5, 2007 20:46:29 GMT -5
For ranting critiques, or just critiques without the rants.
Since I don't watch movies much, I don't end up seeing many bad movies, but on occastions like charter bus trips, I have no choice but to pay attention to what is shown.
The first movie we were shown (the only one we had, other than A Walk To Remember) was:
The Covenant
Basic plot: A group of teenage witches descended from Salem witches is suddenly threatened by a mysterious fifth descendant, who for some reason wants to kill them all.
How witchcraft works: Apparently, it's like a cross between Dragonball Z and drug addiction.
What witchcraft looks like on screen: Blobby distortions of air that the characters hurl at each other. And shattering glass.
Clicheness of dialogue: Includes "... Until now." and "I'll never let you touch her!"
Emotion displayed by hero when he is facing his arch-rival in a duel to the death: About what you would show ordering pizza.
Memorable and entertaining lines: 1
Interesting characters: 1
Interesting characters if you disregard my tendency to classify any of the sexy rogue types as interesting: 0
Lead female status: Love interest/damsel in distress. There is no further characterization.
Ominous shots of the love interest/damsel in distress walking down her darkened dorm hallway: approximately a dozen. Bear in mind that these are all separate times she's walking down the hallway.
Amount it would cost to put some lightbulbs in the stupid hallway: A bit more than they spent on making the script original.
Brilliance of casting: The hero and his arch-villain look so similar that I repeatedly mistook them for each other during the final battle, as well as several other scenes.
Since I don't watch movies much, I don't end up seeing many bad movies, but on occastions like charter bus trips, I have no choice but to pay attention to what is shown.
The first movie we were shown (the only one we had, other than A Walk To Remember) was:
The Covenant
Basic plot: A group of teenage witches descended from Salem witches is suddenly threatened by a mysterious fifth descendant, who for some reason wants to kill them all.
How witchcraft works: Apparently, it's like a cross between Dragonball Z and drug addiction.
What witchcraft looks like on screen: Blobby distortions of air that the characters hurl at each other. And shattering glass.
Clicheness of dialogue: Includes "... Until now." and "I'll never let you touch her!"
Emotion displayed by hero when he is facing his arch-rival in a duel to the death: About what you would show ordering pizza.
Memorable and entertaining lines: 1
Interesting characters: 1
Interesting characters if you disregard my tendency to classify any of the sexy rogue types as interesting: 0
Lead female status: Love interest/damsel in distress. There is no further characterization.
Ominous shots of the love interest/damsel in distress walking down her darkened dorm hallway: approximately a dozen. Bear in mind that these are all separate times she's walking down the hallway.
Amount it would cost to put some lightbulbs in the stupid hallway: A bit more than they spent on making the script original.
Brilliance of casting: The hero and his arch-villain look so similar that I repeatedly mistook them for each other during the final battle, as well as several other scenes.
